I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
