Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
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Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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