He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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