Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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