Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
