how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
