Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
