i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
