the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
