you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
