Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
they're like a gay fantastic four
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
