I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
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Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So apparently I’m into choking now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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