Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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