what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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