Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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