She is in my trunk
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
