I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
