That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
