nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
