I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish you could order shots online.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
