Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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