i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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