In America we eat man semen.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
