She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize