A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
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Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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