I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
