Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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