so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
