I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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