she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
