I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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