So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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