sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
