Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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