you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
