I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
