We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
