...so i touched it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
