So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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