Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
