There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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