You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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