I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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