They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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