Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
