you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He? As in you personified your dick?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN