dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.