I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
