i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
