peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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