Just cropdusted the office
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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