You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
