I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize