Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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