Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
