he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
