So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
