..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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