i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
