How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I CAN MOONWALK!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
