where does the pee come out of this thing
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
