I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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