the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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