if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize