you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
