flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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